I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
