Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
