I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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