What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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