I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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