the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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