Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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