idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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