my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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