I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
