You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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