Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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