i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
