I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
