Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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