i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
