Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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