Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
