oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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