he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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