I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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