Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
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riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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