Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.