Will you blow on my dice?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
