just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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