remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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