i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
