i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
