all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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