I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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