CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
