yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
