You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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