i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
