i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
