It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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