do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
