I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
