I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
