I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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