Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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