goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm both gender and math confused
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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