Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
