I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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