I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize