I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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