can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there's paper in my vomit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
