she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
