he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your dad touched me again.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You need a sexual gate keeper
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
