we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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