How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I die, sorry about rent.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
