I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
