You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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