I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
