HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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