I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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