David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize