I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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