can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
