She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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