i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
