God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
this is an emotional support booty call
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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