You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
