I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
