Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
