I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
