Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He had one of those small greek statue penises
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
