I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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